Trust, Prayer and Colorful Language

Over the past few months I have found myself consistently identifying with this prayer:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
- Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude

If I were more eloquent, I could have written these exact words myself! However, lest anyone think I'm more spiritual than I actually am, I must be honest and admit that my version [of this prayer] has often contained slightly more colorful language. ;)

Now that I have officially made the decision to serve as an intern with the Africa Faith and Justice Network in DC, I feel a greater degree of peace; it feels good to have a definite goal in sight after living in limbo for so long. While I am quite uncertain of where this internship will lead (Africa? Back to Grace? Extended work in the DC area?), I am certain of several things:
1) I feel reassured that God has not left me alone; He is with me no matter where I go
2) I know that being a follower of christ is the only way. No one/nothing else will do.
3) I am convinced that God longs for people to know him and His heart breaks for those who do not.

So. We'll see what God does with all this. In his book Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning writes, “Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father’s active goodness and unrestricted love.” Sometimes this whole trust thing is kind of hard for me.